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info@abusesupport.co.za

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Johannesburg, South Africa

Resources

HELPFUL RESOURCES TO CLARIFY CONFUSION

Abuse takes many forms – physical, emotional, verbal, financial, sexual, and spiritual. The question to ask is “Am I happy in this relationship? Are any of my needs being met? Is he/she building me up or destroying me?”. Your answers will determine whether you are being abused or not.

Emotional abuse involves controlling another person by using emotions to criticize, embarrass, shame, blame, or otherwise manipulate them. There will be a consistent pattern of abusive words and bullying behaviours that wear down a person’s self-esteem and undermine their mental health. While most common in dating and married relationships, mental or emotional abuse can occur in any relationship—including among friends, family members, and co-workers.

The underlying goal is to control the other person by discrediting, isolating, and silencing them. It is one of the hardest forms of abuse to recognize as it can be subtle and insidious. But it can also be overt and manipulative. Either way, this form of abuse is incredibly destructive, and you begin to doubt your perceptions of reality. In the end, you may feel trapped. Emotionally abused people are often too wounded to endure the relationship any longer, but also too afraid to leave. So, the cycle repeats itself until something is done.

In a toxic relationship you feel fearful much of the time, walking on eggshells, never sure whether what you do or say will incur their wrath. You are not a priority; your opinions are not respected, they don’t listen when you talk, and you feel frustrated, unloved and unable to please them. A toxic individual will refuse to resolve conflict and often bullies you.
The fact that you’re asking this question makes it highly unlikely that you are. Everybody has some narcissistic traits which are necessary for a healthy self-esteem. But when the traits become too prevalent and the person believes they are perfect, doesn’t take accountability, blames others for any perceived problems, feels entitled, exploits people and has no empathy, they are undoubtedly narcissistic and may even have NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder).
Absolutely. Scroll down on this page and you will find a list of Youtube videos and podcasts given by professionals on the topic. We also recommend books to read that explain codependency and how to heal so you don’t attract the same type of person again.
In a Support Group you meet others who have been abused and truly understand what you have been through/or are still being subjected to. You can share your difficulties in a safe space, either on a WhatsApp platform, or face to face at one of our meetings. The Support Group members listen, empathise, understand and assist you on your incredibly challenging and courageous journey to health and healing.
Scroll down on this page and you will find a list of a variety of professionals, all of whom are very familiar with narcissistic behaviour and can give you the best advice.

Yes indeed. Besides our Johannesburg group, we have face-to-face meetings in CT, Durban, PMB, and PE. Our goal is to have NASG Support Group Meetings throughout South Africa. The WhatsApp Support Groups can be joined by those who pass the screening test. We also have a Facebook Support Group.

No amount of love you can give to an abusive spouse will change who they are. The initial “love bombing” or “idealization” phase where they confessed their undying love for you and appeared to be all you’d ever wanted in a partner, was just smoke and mirrors. A narcissist is not capable of truly loving their partner. They see us as merely an extension of themselves there to meet their selfish agenda.

This is entirely your choice and your decision to make. If a person is abusive such that you have lost yourself in the relationship, have no confidence, are anxious, miserable, controlled and manipulated, and feel trapped, then this will affect your mental and physical well-being. Abusive relationships drain you and will eventually destroy you, so you need to ask yourself what is best for yourself and your children. Do you want them to believe that it’s okay to be abused, or that abuse is unacceptable? Leaving will teach them that abuse is never acceptable. Don’t let anyone guilt-trip you into staying if you have had enough and want to leave. You, and only you, know what you are being subjected to and no one has the right to judge you or the decision you make – whether it is to leave or to stay.  

You can use another name and remain anonymous on this site. We’ve called it Courage to Change for exactly that reason as it doesn’t refer to narcissistic abuse. If he/she sees you’re going onto this site, he/she will just believe you are finally taking steps to seek help as they believe we are the ones with the problem.

Recommended Reading List

Additional Reading List

  • The three faces of Evil
  • When shame begets shame
  • The Gaslighting Syndrome
  • In Sheep’s Clothing
  • Character Disturbance
  • Rethinking Narcissism
  • The narcissist Test
  • Codependent no more.
  • The Language of Letting Go
  • Beyond Codependency
  • Choices: Taking Control of your life and making it matter
  • The Polyvagal Theory
  • The Polyvagal Theory: the transformative power of feeling safe
  • The myth of Normal
  • In the realm of hungry ghosts
  • When the body says No. Exploring the stress disease connection
  • Divorcing a Narcissist: One Mom’s Battle
  • Divorcing a Narcissist: Advice from the Battlefield
  • People of the lie
  • The Road less Travelled
  • Yes to Life
  • Man’s search for meaning
  • The Road Back to Me
  • My Road Beyond the Codependent Divorce
  • Quantum Tools to help you heal your life now
  • Codependent – Now What?
  • Loving the Self Affirmations
  • When love is a lie
  • Stop Spinning, Start Breathing
  • I thought it was just me
  • The gift of Imperfection
  • The Atlas of the heart
  • Should I stay or should I go?
  • Don’t you know who I am?
  • The Complex PTSD workbook – Arielle Schwartz
  • Disarming the narcissist – Wendy T. Behary
  • The journey from Abandonment to healing – Susan Anderson
  • Boundaries, when to say yes, how to say no to take control of your life – Dr Cloud and Townsend
  • The Human Magnet Syndrome – Ross Rosenburg
  • The Passive-Aggressive Covert Narcissist – Debbie Mirza
  • Breaking Toxic Soul Ties: Healing from unhealthy and controlling relationships – Tom Brown
  • Sacred Rest: Recover your Life, Renew Your Energy, Renew your Sanity – Saundra Dalton-Smith
  • Freedom: The End of the Human Condition – Jeremy Griffith.
  • Body sense, the science and practice of embodied self-awareness – Alan Fogel
  • Nutrient Power – William J Walsh
  • Thin Places – Mary de Muth
  • The Disease to Please – Harriet B. Braiker
  • Men who hate women and the women who love them – Susan Forward
  • Women who love too much – Robin Norwood
  • Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men – Lundy Bancroft
  • Discover your Strength’s – Marcus Buckingham
  • Why can’t I sleep? – John Levine
  • Inner Bonding: Becoming a Loving Adult to your Inner Child – Margaret Paul
  • I am Enough: Mark your mirror and change your life – Merissa Peer
  • Theres a hole in my sidewalk. The romance of self-discovery – Portia Nelson
  • He’s lying Sis – Stephan Labossiere
  • You can heal your life – Louise L Hay
  • Loving to Survive – Dee L. R. Graham
  • Children of the Self Absorbed – Nina W Brown
  • Echoism – Donna Christina Savery
  • The Tapping Solution for pain relief – Nick Ortner
  • Monkeytraps: Why everybody tries to control everything and how we can stop – Steve Hauptman
  • Psychopath free – Jackson MacKenzie
  • Unmasking Narcissism – Mark Ettensohn
  • The Sociopath next door – Martha Stout
  •  

Powerful Online Video Resources

Dr Ramani
A professor of psychology, media expert, and author. She has been sought out in various media outlets for her expertise on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse.

 MedCircle
The MedCircle doctors provide in-depth mental health advice packed with actionable takeaways and clear explanations of the most complicated mental health topics.
   WATCH ONLINE
 Lisa A Romano
Certified Life Coach, author, YouTube Creator, and expert in the field of codependency and narcissistic abuse recovery.
   WATCH ONLINE
 Richard Grannon
Coach Richard Grannon provides people with information to help them overcome psychological issues such as C-PTSD, narcissistic abuse, anxiety and depression.
   WATCH ONLINE
 Melanie Tonia Evans
Melanie is an expert in the field of narcissistic abuse recovery & self-empowerment. Learn more about narcissistic abuse and how to break free from abuse.
   WATCH ONLINE
 Sandra L Brown
Referred to as the ‘pioneer’ in the field of relationships with partners who have narcissism or psychopathy, and for identifying cognitive dissonance as an aftermath form of existential trauma.
   WATCH ONLINE
 Inner Integration
The Inner Integration channel was created by Meredith Miller to help you in your recovery after narcissistic abuse so you can bridge the gap between the trauma and purpose.
   WATCH ONLINE
 Kim Saeed
Kim Saeed is a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Expert, transformative educator, renowned speaker, and bestselling author of How to Do No Contact Like a Boss!
   WATCH ONLINE
 Sam Vaknin​
This is a channel with insider info, evidence-based tips and time-tested advice. Based on the bible of narcissism: “Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin.
   WATCH ONLINE
 Christine Louis de Canonville​
A psychotherapist who’s worked with victims of narcissistic abuse for years, helping them to understand the relationship dynamics between narcissists and their victims, i.e. their need for entitlement, control, power, grandiosity and specialness.
   WATCH ONLINE
 Dr Les Carter
A best-selling author and a therapist for over 40 years. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.
   WATCH ONLINE
 Dr Craig Malkin
Harvard Medical School psychologist who addresses the “narcissism epidemic” by illuminating the spectrum of narcissism, identifying ways to control the trait, and explaining how too little of it may be a bad thing.
   WATCH ONLINE
 Dr Caroline Leaf
A cognitive neuroscientist, bestselling author, mental health and mind expert. She provides practical tips and tools to help you take back control over your mental, emotional, and physical health.
   WATCH ONLINE
 Jay Shetty
Jay Shetty is a storyteller, podcaster and former monk. His mission is to make wisdom go viral in an accessible, relevant and practical way. Videos on motivation, wisdom, love and relationships are posted weekly.
   WATCH ONLINE
 Dr Henry Cloud
Inspiring stories about the benefits to your relationships, mental health, productivity and well-being that come when you implement healthy boundaries.
   WATCH ONLINE
 Brené Brown
Brené has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy, and is the author of five #1 New York Times bestsellers.
   WATCH ONLINE
 Marisa Peer
Marisa helps clients break through the wall of self-doubt, self-sabotage, and self-shame that they have struggled with for sometimes their entire lives.
   WATCH ONLINE
 Gabor Maté
Through Compassionate Inquiry, the client can recognize the unconscious dynamics that run their lives and how to liberate themselves from them.
   WATCH ONLINE
 Dr Hew Len
Teaches the Hawai`ian practice of Ho`oponopono. By using this potent forgiveness and releasing process, one is able to clear out unconsciously accepted beliefs, thoughts, and memories that are holding you back.
   WATCH ONLINE
 Steve Hauptman
Overcontrolling feelings make us emotionally ill, overcontrolling relationships erode and destroy us, and overcontrolling life in general bankrupts us spiritually. We are only as healthy as our relationships – especially our relationship to ourselves.
   WATCH ONLINE
 Dr Stephen Porges
Focusing on a polyvagal perspective which emphasizes the link between psychological experiences and physical manifestations in the body, facilitating one’s understanding of trauma, anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues.
   WATCH ONLINE
 Dr Joe Dispenza
Using a combination of quantum physics, neuroscience, brain chemistry, biology, and genetics, Dr Dispenza has developed a programme which can rewire one’s mind, heart, and body.
   WATCH ONLINE
 Dr Albert Mensah
Focuses on the management of cognitive disorders such as anxiety syndromes, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, autism spectrum disorder, and childhood and adult schizophrenia.
   WATCH ONLINE
 Mastin Kipp
The Mastin Kipp Podcast – The Reason Why You Feel Like A Fraud
   WATCH ONLINE
 Alex Howard
In this first episode of “In Therapy with Alex Howard” we meet Lauren who is recovering from ME/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
   WATCH ONLINE
 Dr Shefali
In this talk from Mindvalley Live 2019 in Los Angeles, clinical psychologist and parenting expert Dr. Shefali Tsabary explains how we’ve all been raised and conditioned to think we’re all so unique, when in reality, we are all more similar than we’d like to believe
   WATCH ONLINE
 Lisa Nichols
Lisa Nichol’s delivers a powerful speech about escaping from an abusive, broken relationship and finding wholeness within herself.
   WATCH ONLINE
 Rebecca Zung (Legal)
Before you divorce a narcissist, watch this.
   WATCH ONLINE

The NASG Recovery and Restoration Personal Development Programme

This Programme, compiled by Penny, founder of NASG, is recommended for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse.
Sessions can be held in person or remotely, either one-on-one or in groups online, with a maximum of 6 people.
If you are tired of living in survival mode and ready to commit to doing the work necessary to heal and THRIVE,

please contact Penny for details: penny@abusesupport.co.za

Testimonials

Professional Listing Business Directory

Additional Support Resources

Christine Louis de Canonville – www.narcissisticbehavior.net

SomaSensing Somatic Therapy – www.somasensing.org     

Mental health radio – www.mentalhealthnewsradionetwork.com

Ross Rosenberg – www.selfloverecovery.com

Quora – www.quora.com

Becoming who you are – www.becomingwhoyouare.net

Psychology Today – www.psychologytoday.com   

Psychotherapy and Psychology online training – www.nicabm

Dr Eric Perry – www.makeitultrapsychology.wordpress

The Neuromovement Revolution – www.anatbanielmethod.com

For the Intense, Sensitive and Gifted – www.eggshelltherapy.com

Advice on narcissism – www.drcraigmalkin.com  

D: The dark factor of personalities – www.darkfactor.org

Help Guide – guide to mental health and wellness – www.helpguide.org

+ SUPPORT GROUPS – www.SupportGroups.com

Inner Bonding – Margaret Paul – www.innerbonding.com

Dr Lize Visagie – www.healingthemind.co.za

SAASWIPP

South African Association for Social Workers in Private Practice. Can assist in family
court,
and also do trauma debriefing.
066 472 3638
info@saaswipp.co.za
www.saasswipp.co.za

BADISA

Social welfare organization.
072 254 5009
www.badisa.org.za

POWA

Free counselling and shelter provided to all SA women in need. POWA has 6 satellite offices
and
2 confidential shelters.
011 642 4345
www.powa.co.za

TEARS

Domestic violence, sexual assault – confidential services provided to all victims at no
charge.
24hr free SMS service. Emergency Shelters.
010 590 5920
*134*7355#
info@tears.co.za
www.tears.co.za

CHILDLINE SA

0800 055 555
www.childlinesa.org.za

CHILD WELFARE SOUTH AFRICA

074 080 8315
www.childwelfaresa.org.za

SADAG

24 hr mental health line 0800 456 789
Substance Abuse 24hr helpline 0800 12 13 14/SMS 32312
Suicide Crisis Line 0800 567 567
Depression and anxiety help line 0800 70 80 90
Akeso Psychiatric Response Unit 24hr 0861 435 787
Police and Trauma Line 0800 20 50 26
www.sadag.org

THE TRAUMA CENTRE

021 465 7373
info@trauma.org.za
www.trauma.org.za

THUTHUZELA CARE CENTRE

Care centres for rape victims
Chris Hani Bara 011 933 1140
Koponong Hospital 016 428 5959
Mamelodi Day Hospital 012 841 8413
Tembisa Hospital 011 923 2180
www.issasa.org.za

FAMSA

Assists in cases of domestic violence and trauma, divorces and mediation
011 975 7106/7
www.famsa.org.za

LIFELINE

In need of trauma counselling or support please contact lifeline on 0861 322 322. Offering
phone
or face to face counselling
JHB 011 728 1331
Midrand 062 155 4770
Benoni 011 421 0384
Pretoria 012 804 1853
Soweto 011 988 0155
Krugersdorp 011 665 2281
Alexandra 011 443 3555
www.lifelinesa.co.za

AL-ANON

For codependent people in relationship with addicts 24hr helpline
0861 252 666
www.alanon.org.za

CoDa

Codependents Anonymous SA
www.codasouthafrica.co.za

LAW SOCIETY OF SOUTH AFRICA

www.lssa.org.za/getting-legal-assistance

THE FAMILY LIFE CENTRE IN PARKWOOD

Mediation for divorce – done in front of 2 trained mediators at a subsidized price.

SANCA

Soweto 011 984 4290
Pretoria 012 542 1121

AKESO

Psychiatric Hospitals – inpatient and outpatient treatment for a range of psychiatric
illnesses
ie anxiety and depression, substance abuse and addiction, eating disorders, ageing disorders
and PTSD.
Clinics throughout SA
AKESO Response Unit – 0861435787
Emergency contact 011430 1890 24/7
info@akeso.co.za
www.akeso.co.za

DEBT REVIEW SOUTH AFRICA

Determine What You Can Pay at reduced Interest. Debt Administration, Debt Counselling, Debt
Review.

087 700 5609
www.debt-review.co.za

TEDDY BEAR CLINIC

011 484 4554 (Office hours only)
www.ttbc.org.za

For Women – Gender Based Violence Command Centre

0800 428 428
*120*7867# (free)
www.for-women.co.za/help-line

Family violence, Child Protection and sexual offences unit

0800 150 150

Halt Elder Abuse Line (HEAL) – helpline for elderly people

0800 003 081
action@actionelderabusesa.co.za

Woman Abuse Helpline

0800 150 150

Lifeline Counselling Number

0861 322 322

Suicide Crisis Line

0800 567 567
0800 456 789

Pharma Dynamics Trauma Helpline

0800 206 026

24hr Substance Abuse Helpline

0800 121 314

Human Trafficking Helpline

0800 737 283 (08000 rescue)
082 455 3664

SAPS Crime Stop

08600 10111

National Crisis Line

086 132 2322

South African Police Service – Crime Stop and Anonymous Tip-offs

08600 10111

Flying Squad/SAPS Emergency

10111

Ambulance

1017

Dr Reddy’s Mental Health Helpline

0800 212 223

South African Federation for Mental Health

011 781 1852
info@safmh.org

Central Gauteng Mental Health Society

011 984 4038

Adcock Ingram Depression and Anxiety Helpline

0800 708 090

SA National Council for Child Welfare

011 339 5741

NISSA

Abused Women and Children
19 Link Street
Lenasia ext 1
011 854 5804
011 231 5050

POWA

People Opposing Women Abuse
64 Mitchell Street
Berea
011 642 4345

IKHAYALETHEMBA

Abused Women
176 Smit Street
Braamfontein
011 242 3000

BETHANY

C/O Millbourn Rd and Viljoen Street
011 614 3245

THE HOUSE

Girls between 12 and 18 years old
60 Olivia Rd
Berea
074 587 7057

BIENVENU SHELTER

Refugee Women and Children from 3 mnths
36 Terrace Road
Bertrams
011 624 2915

JABULANI KHAKHIBOS KIDS CENTRE

Boys who have been on the street
1 High Street
Berea
084 620 1465

GROWING CHAMPIONS

Provides safe houses for children born into unsafe and violent homes
+27 82 803-3866
+27 82 654 5733
growingchampionsinfo@gmail.com
growingchamps.co.za/

  • Art therapy
  • Sculpture / Pottery /Painting
  • Dance eg Biodanza / any form of dance
  • Play – Laughter Therapy
  • Somatic Movement Therapy
  • Neuromovement – the Anat Baniel method of healing trauma and pain
  • Yoga / Stretching
  • Breathwork
  • Meditation and Mindfulness
  • Prayer
  • Journalling / Affirmations
  • Craniosacral Therapy
  • Sound Therapy
  • Healing the Inner Child – Inner Bonding
  • 12 Step courses – CoDa or Al-Anon
  • Support Group/s
  • Nutrition – Homeopaths, Nutritional Health Practitioner (Live Blood Analysis), Naturopaths

CBT – Cognitive Behavioural Therapy – focuses on how your thoughts, feelings and behavior influence each other.

DBT – Dialectical behavior therapy – works on the same things as CBT, but emphasis is given more towards regulating emotions, being mindful, and learning to accept pain

BWRT – Brainworking Recursive Therapy – Brain Working Recursive Therapy is a one-to-one talking therapy that gives you the tools to reprogram your emotional or habitual responses, through the power of your thought alone. Very effective way to rewire the brain.

NLP -Neuro Linguistic Programming – Using mind techniques such as visualization, you can change the way you think and feel about past events, fears and even phobias. Unlike Psychoanalysis which focuses on the “why”, NLP assists you to move forward by focusing on the “how” – empowering you to take control of your mind, and therefore your life.

TRE – Tension and Trauma release exercise – an innovative series of exercises that assist the body in releasing deep muscular patterns of stress, tension and trauma. The exercises safely activate a natural reflex mechanism of shaking or vibrating that releases muscular tension, calming down the nervous system.

EMI – Eye movement integration – is an innovative and amazingly effective treatment for posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and other difficulties stemming from highly emotional memories.

EMDR – Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing – is an interactive, systematic, and practical psychotherapy technique used to relieve psychological stress. It is an effective treatment for trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), as well as psychological difficulties stemming from traumatic events in childhood.

EFT – Emotional freedom technique – is an alternative treatment for physical pain and emotional distress. It is also referred to as tapping or psychological acupressure. People who use this technique believe tapping the body can create a balance in your energy system and treat pain.

Domestic Violence ACT 116 of 1998

Domestic violence affects millions of people it causes significant harm to the physical and mental health of survivors and their families, undermines their economic stability and overall well-being, and is a stain on the conscience of our country.

Studies show that living with domestic violence can cause physical and emotional harm in the following ways: ongoing anxiety and depression. emotional distress. eating and sleeping disturbances.

Personal help is available for victims of narcissistic abuse!

Sometimes support groups and chat forums just aren’t enough and professional coaching from an expert in the field of narcissism is necessary.

Click below to book a very affordable session with the founder of NASG.

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Inspired by Kintsugi, the ancient Japanese art of repairing broken objects with gold, we learn that if we choose to embrace our struggles and repair ourselves with love, we become more beautiful for having been broken

HEAL YOURSELF WITH LOVE AND YOU WILL BECOME 

MORE BEAUTIFUL FOR HAVING BEEN BROKEN